He Didn't Even Look Back

So today was the big day for our little man. After four years at home, he was ready for the real world experience of SCHOOL! Was mom? No. I have been spending quite a bit of time thinking about why this was so hard for me. I know that I have spent these last years at home with him, tending to his needs, comforting him when he needs it, encouraging his growth, all in an effort to ready him for this next phase of his life, but I didn't realize it would be so hard. Why is it hard? To me, he's still my baby. I know every mom says this, but I FEEL it. He is vulnerable to everything and because it feels like your heart is walking around outside of your body when you are a parent, it's a very vulnerable feeling to watch your kid blend into our society. I'm not talking about just vulnerable to a skinned knee, but bigger things like hurt feelings, judgement, harassment, feelings of anxiety or worry. I have to leave my kid with people I know I trust, but barely know. Will they treat him well? Will other people see that he's perfect in every possible way? Do they know that he's not just Andrew, but THE Andrew?

Ok, so those are just a few of my "mommy" feelings. Did I let him in on my feelings? No. Charlie on the other hand understood them perfectly. He was so nice to me as he could sense my stress building. BTW, Thank you my dear. So I took him to meet his teacher last week and that went very smoothly. Whew! This morning Dad took him down to his school and walked him to his class. He gave him a big hug and said his goodbyes. Secretly watching him through the fence on his way back to the truck, he knew that Andrew would be just fine. He likes to hang out near the teacher for now as I'm sure that's comforting, but he showed no sign of stress and didn't even look back.